My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
