god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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