Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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