I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
