someone get that fucking seahorse.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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