i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend