Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
