You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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