Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I checked into jail on foursquare
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.