i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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