1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.