why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
