lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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I need you to use more vowels.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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