So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
