I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
