I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
