I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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