I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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