I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
