Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
