Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
