I think I died a long time ago.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
