Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
