Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
