we made out on top of his cat.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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