So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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