shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
