I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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