You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Soap is not a condiment
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
