My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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