i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize