just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
