If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
