Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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