Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Randomize
