Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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