so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I could fuck to npr.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
