I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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