Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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