you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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