Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I would ride that face into the sunset
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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