can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
