We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
