I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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