I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think your dad took our porno
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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