Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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