I must be too annoying 4 u.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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