so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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