we're blogging at a bar
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
