I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.