She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower