Texts From Last Night

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  (409): View more from Texas

  so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes

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  (409): so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes http://tfl.nu/m5en
  Replies (5) Good night (798) Bad night (917)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....

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  (936): Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas.... http://tfl.nu/nx5u
  Replies (16) Good night (759) Bad night (5193)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.

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  (937): I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand. http://tfl.nu/sj9u
  Replies (31) Good night (8442) Bad night (732)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.

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  (920): Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o54g
  Replies (36) Good night (12833) Bad night (1227)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.

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  (815): I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much. http://tfl.nu/aut4
  Replies (12) Good night (3214) Bad night (1940)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.

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  (859): Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours. http://tfl.nu/gzj7
  Replies (5) Good night (5050) Bad night (866)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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  (908): It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps.. http://tfl.nu/jf04
  Replies (3) Good night (1585) Bad night (771)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet

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  (519): Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet http://tfl.nu/qweh
  Replies (5) Good night (1561) Bad night (648)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you said candy land and then passed out.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.

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  (215): you said candy land and then passed out. (215): ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/gx08
  Replies (8) Good night (2944) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...

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  (716): I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life... http://tfl.nu/ae71
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (1372)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey

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  (401): There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey http://tfl.nu/j5zf
  Replies (9) Good night (2531) Bad night (546)
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  (718): View more from New York

  cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever

  (347): View more from New York

  The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer

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  (718): cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever (347): The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer http://tfl.nu/lzsh
  Replies (1) Good night (1050) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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  (757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8
  Replies (0) Good night (707) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy

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  (281): all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy http://tfl.nu/zec6
  Replies (11) Good night (1072) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at

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  (716): Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at http://tfl.nu/gjoz
  Replies (12) Good night (694) Bad night (266)

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