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• (253): View more from Washington

  I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.

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• (+81): View more from

  I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You're never coming back, are you?

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

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• (239): View more from Florida

  im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?

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