are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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