how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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