it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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