just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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