Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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