is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
All I want is dick and wine.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize