Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
