How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
