There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
