So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
