'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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