I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
