you win again, gameday.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Warsđ
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
At least Iâm an âessential employeeâ and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnât ask why Iâm essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
