I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
